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At times, Jay Spring feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments can become “detached from reality”, he admits. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his actions, rendering him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He first suspected he might have NPD after looking up his traits on the internet – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have taken the label unless he had already reached that conclusion by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they feel feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people hide it, because of widespread prejudice around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through things like pursuing power,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although three-quarters of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings points out this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. Frequently, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I completely shut down.” Even with this reaction – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures as a child. I’ve had to teach myself over the years the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with feelings. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his doctor, he was directed to a therapist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for psychological counseling through national services (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the development of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number