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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the reliable retreat for daily publications, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and historic moments, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college to use the facilities during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking round the campus acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager following a short conversation within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“We remained in an extended queue, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What’s in a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|